Hey gays and gals welcome to Bicoastal Beauty Unfiltered! I’m so excited to be writing my very first blog post. It’s about fucking time right?!
Now most of you probably know me best for my “role” as myself on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yes, I’m the offensive white wine chugging from a bottle, braless and often foul mouthed wonder. But before all that I was just your everyday, normal, still foul mouthed but always real, housewife of Calabasas.
That is until my entire world as I knew it fell apart (blah blah we all know that story).
Soon after the wreckage I became absolutely obsessed with the world of Twitter and virtually met one of my not so many followers (I think I had nine), and now best friend, Jezika Adams. A sweet, young mom from the Upper East side of New York City. Her and I connected on a very deep level and made a strong unbreakable bond. I mean after all, this fiery Latina was writing a blog about cheating men!
Now remember this was over 8 years ago and both Twitter and oversharing on social media were fairly new, other than Facebook, which at the time I could have cared less about. I mean honestly to me Facebook was just a place where cheating spouses hooked up with old ex’s and every extended family member one ever had was posting bathtub selfies of their kids. (People please stop the kiddy porn) This was also a time for me before fame when the haters, fake accounts and internet trolls did not yet exist. Wow, I really miss those sweet blissfully ignorant days of 2009.
Long before I hobbled into a party made for tv on a single Lanvin platform wedge and crutches, I started this beautiful friendship. Jez (as I call her today) is now proudly one of my loyal for life, ride or die bitches and we have a friendship that has lasted the test of time. Through one ugly divorce, bouts of depression, the highs and lows of success & fame and the very low lows of being ridden with anxiety and unemployment.
Now almost a decade later we have finally landed here together over our mutual obsession (ok it might be an addiction but at least we’re not doing crystal meth in the bathroom all night BITCH) of not wanting to age (duh). Both of our quests to try and keep it sexy and our love and lust for all things beauty: treatments, products, makeup etc… My personal need to always be searching out the next great promise for the fountain of youth!
All of this because for Jez who is upon it and for me who is sinking in it, the one F word I really hate (obviously it’s not fuck because I fucking love that fucking word it completes me in so many fucking ways) no it’s not that F word its… FORTY!!
So as Jez completes her final last few months in the T-zone (dirty thirties) and I get closer to death with each breath we will embark on getting you the one hundred percent honest truth in all things beauty. The good the great and of course the fucking horrible.
We will laser it, inject it, burn it, glue it, freeze it, stick it, suck it…(I’m getting off track) but I think you get the picture basically we will do it to ourselves so that you don’t have deal with the nonsense. We will give you our honest Unfiltered opinions on EVERYTHING no matter who we piss off! We will tell you what to get, who to get it from and most importantly what and who the fuck to stay away from on both the East coast and the West.
So let’s do this people!! I honestly want to get started on this journey almost as much as I wanted to pass out jars of Nectifirm to the “ladies” on the couches after watching the latest RHOBH reunion!
Always remember “do unto thou necks as you do to thy faces” even if you have to split it on 4 credit cards.